Thoughts & Musing O'Mine

Has it been a year already?

2008-06-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Well I'm going to ease back into this, but I promise if anyone is still reading this I will write more often :)

Until then I'll leave you with a Jason Mraz video that I'm hooked on at the moment...enjoy!

Pygmy Basil

2007-06-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

One of the more interesting things going on in the "garden" is that the Basil that I planted at the same time as the Peppermint, are standing only three to four inches high. What little Basil has surfaced is much different than previous years.

If you notice the picture below of the two large pots next to the garden box... the full lush green one is Peppermint and next to it the Basil. Their leaves are as fragrant as ever but they are so short and few.

I'm thinking that it may have to do with the soil that it was planted in, for the most part it was used for a flower box and a store bought tomato plant. Perhaps the tomato plant threw off the PH levels of the soil and that is what I'm seeing. If not man I'm onto to something...Pygmy Basil :)

These brown thumbs ?

2007-06-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

**Due to camera issues this post is about a week late**

Last year I dabbled in gardening, well more like watering. My version of gardening was to throw some Basil into a pot and water it. This year I decided I had to channel my homesteading fantasy into something on a practical scale, so I decide that I would see what else I could grow from seed.

Around Mother's Day I built a 6'X 3' garden box (see above) and made a list of the herbs, fruits and veggies I wanted to grow. Admittedly I got a later start than I would have like, part of the learning is figuring out how each seed responds to cold/heat and the amount of water it like. I learned that Green Peppers are extremely difficult, especially in the chill of late spring.

I found myself excitedly rushing out each day to see if I could spot any growth whatsoever, and then one day I saw green popping out of a couple pots containing Roma Tomato seeds... I was hooked. Technically, the first growth was the Peppermint, which thankfully I planted in its own planter. I had read that Peppermint will take over and smother other plants if given the chance, it has grown like wildfire and I'm trying to figure out all the ways to use the stuff this summer.

Once some of the seeds were viable I decided it was time to transplant either to the box garden or to its own pot. It soon became clear that I was overrun in Broccoli and Lettuce so I decided they were the obvious choice for the box garden. I packed them in as tight as I could and maybe too tight (time will tell) and still I had to give away Broccoli seedlings to the neighbors.

The tomatoes did way better than I expected (see above), in fact the tomato plants shown are maybe half of what I actually have. I'm growing three varieties: Roma, Early Girls and Cherry... The Roma's did so well that I only planted them once. The other two I planted a second group indoors under a grow light and it has made an incredible difference. The plants indoors are about two weeks younger and are already much bigger, I simply don't have space for them outside yet...what a nice problem to have :)

It is easy to see how addicting it can be to garden and I can only imagine what it will be like when they plants start to produce. I'm expecting so much that I expect to have to find good homes for some of these plants later in the summer. Ironically the only planting that has been disappointing is the Basil, I think it jealous of all the attention I give to the others :)

A List of what I am growing:

Basil
Peppermint
Baby Carrots
Broccoli (approx. 25)
Lettuce (approx. 30)
Snow Peas (8 plants...including 1 inverted)
Green Peppers (30 plants...27 grown indoors)
Tomatoes
Roma (approx. 40)
Early Girls (approx. 15)
Cherry (approx. 30)

OK I'm back...for now Part. 2

2007-06-11T03:00:00.000-07:00

I did not completely fall off the face of the earth...I first need to stretch and shake off the rust before I blog seriously... be back soon.

Happy New Years All !!!!

2006-12-31T22:36:00.000-08:00

I have a feeling that 2007 is going to be quite good, hoping it is for you as well !!!

By Request- My Favorite SNL skit

2006-12-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

Going to try one more time

2006-12-22T07:43:00.000-08:00

After some internal debate I've decided to throw my hat into the "Biggest Loser" ring once more. They are casting for next years show and it is worth a shot for the chance to go to the weight loss ranch and change my life for the better.

I may call on some family assistance at the Christmas party. PS today is a better day (see last post or not)

Three for Three

2006-12-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm pushing for the Seahawks to not be on national TV for awhile. They've been on Sunday Night, Monday Night and tonight they play and for the third straight time the weather is brutal. Well atleast it may deter some folks from moving here.

Thoughts on Middle Earth

2006-12-13T03:00:00.000-08:00

- Having just started reading Lord of the Rings, I have a new respect for the job Peter Jackson did creating the trilogy for the silver screen. Jackson deviates liberally from the book but is still true to it at the same time, not an easy task.

About one hundred and fifty pages in I marveled at the Jackson teams' ability to turn these novels into a three viable screenplays.

- New Line Cinema is making a big mistake in cutting its ties with Jackson on the possible creation two more Rings prequels, including The Hobbit. They and Jackson are locked in a disagreement over royalties from The Fellowship of the Ring. Given the following the story has and the manner in which Jackson honored Tolkien's vision, I'm sure fans (such as myself) will be skeptical if we are forced to see someone else's version of Middle Earth.

My last nerve

2006-12-13T02:47:00.000-08:00

I reached my limit today of the Iraq debate. The talking point that sent me over the edge was this notion of "victory is still the strategy"....deep breaths William *sigh*

VICTORY IS A GOAL NOT A STRATEGY! Now over three years after invading Iraq this administration is still grasping for what to do next. How about start bringing the troops home? How exactly is it possible for an exterior power to win a civil war?

Down to two

2006-12-04T18:41:00.000-08:00

FYI I decided to delete two of my side blogs. Though I cared about the subject matter (writing and politics) I found it drained me of energy and the tone on both was too negative for my taste.

I know my fans will be crush but get over it already :)

Good Ole Politicking

2006-12-04T12:27:00.000-08:00

So Saturday was supposed to be a day to watch a little college football... yeah my Cougs are out of it but still college football is hard to beat in my book.

As guys tend to do I picked up the remote control during a commercial and checked out what else was on. And there it was...Live coverage of Canada's Liberal Party convention from Montreal. Issues aside I was hooked, unlike the modern day US political convention where very little is actually decided on scene, our neighbors to the north showcased a fasinating display of old fashioned politics.

Eight candidates came in with the hope of becoming the leader of their party. Fifty percent plus one vote of the valid votes cast is necessary to gain the victory. Delegates vote and after each ballot the candidate with the lowest tally is dropped and then they can endorse another candidate or release their followers to vote how they see fit.

What I loved were the deals and the negotiating that were taking place on the fly. If your candidate wasn't going to go as far as you hoped then you "swam to the next closest island". Such deals won the nomination for Stéphane Dion who came from the middle of the pack to finish first on the fourth and final ballot. As candidates fell off or dropped themselves most got behind Dion, what started as a ripple quickly became a tidal wave.... very impressive to see.

Having watched the American version of political conventions it was refreshing, less rehearsed and full of genuine emotion as politics were meant to be.

Catch Free Willy and make him do tricks

2006-11-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm coming into this post "fired up" so be warned. Today I was greeted by a headline on CNN.com "Killer whale attacks Sea World trainer", oh crap I smell another Fox "When animals attack" out of this one. According to the story a thirty year old Orca named Kasatka deviated from its performance at SeaWorld and grabbed a handler and took him underwater.

I clicked on the video link to see interviews of parents and childrens reactions following the incident. One woman called it a tragedy...sorry lady but the "tragedy" happened long before the show. They have one of this earth's most incredible creatures swimming around in this little tank performing hundreds of "shows" yearly, that is the f*cking tragedy!!!

Next a kid rhetorically asked why the Orca would do something like that...Did anyone attempt to teach this kid that an amusement park is NOT the Orca's natural setting and that they were meant to roam the worlds oceans in tight-knit families and social structures, not jumping to entertain Tommy from Topeka.

The final lady interviewed was upset because she was there for her six year olds birthday and she didn't want her or her daughter to see a man die right then and there. No one wants that. But she went further and wondered why there wasn't a system in place to "take out" the Orca when something like this happened. Great lesson to teach the kiddies...take a wild animal and make it do tricks for you to foster the illusion it is happy and almost human-like and when it acts as nature meant, blow it out the f*cking water...how sweet.

Okay why am I so fired up? well as some might know about six years ago I went on a whale watching trip with a friend in the San Juan Islands. At the time my hope was to see an Orca or two in their environment. It just so happened that on the day we went all three pods (J,K &L) came together for a meeting and we were treated to eighty-plus Orcas socializing with one another.

Words don't do the scene justice, it was one of the most inspiring and beautiful things I have ever witnessed. You could see individual personalities come out as they played, flirted and generally socialized with eachother. When you are sitting on a boat silently and not more than a few feet away a twenty-five plus foot animal passes right beneath you it puts things in perspective. I saw more "humanity" in those whales that day then I often do with our own species. Where is the humanity in keeping these creatures penned up for our amusement?

Do yourself a favor, if you ever want to see Orcas, forego the sideshow and spend the money to see them in nature as they were meant to be.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall

2006-11-28T00:42:00.000-08:00

This morning was my first workout at the gym, post-wraparound mirror installation...Ugh! Damn those mirrors were not kind, but on the flip side seeing myself like that gave me added inspiration to push even harder than previous. The road ahead is long...

If I could've only written this song

2006-11-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

here it is ...Decemberists of course :)

Red Right Ankle

This is the story of your red right ankle
And how it came to meet your leg
And how the muscle, bone, and sinews tangled
And how the skin was softly shed

And how it whispered “Oh, adhere to me
For we are bound by symmetry
And whatever differences our lives have been
We together make a limb.”
This is the story of your red right ankle.

This is the story of your gypsy uncle
You never knew ‘cause he was dead
And how his face was carved and rift with wrinkles
In the picture in your head.

And remember how you found the key
To his hide-out in the Pyrenees
But you wanted to keep his secret safe
So you threw the key away.
This is the story of your gypsy uncle.

This is the story of the boys who loved you
Who love you now and loved you then
And some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you
And some just laid around in bed.

Some had crumbled you straight to your knees
Did it cruel, did it tenderly
Some had crawled their way into your heart
To rend your ventricles apart
This is the story of the boys who loved you
This is the story of your red right ankle.

Not a good day to be a hawk

2006-11-21T17:00:00.000-08:00

So yesterday there was a loud expolsion and the power went out and then quickly back on. Soon after came sirens and I could hear what sounded like someone talking over a bullhorn. I could ignore the urge to investigate only so long, out in the rain I went to have a gander.

Across the street a newer model car was fully engulfed in flames and the transformer located above it was giving off some serious juice. I convinced a neighbor that it wasn't a good idea for her to try to leave with her daughter via their car, since the engulfed car was less than fifteen from our parking lot exit and was apparently in contact with a downed wire. They finally turned off the line and we all were without power for some six hours.

Afterwards I ventured out to see what was going on and a poice officer explained that a couple blocks up a hawk hit the line and was electrocuted on the spot which caused a surge and the weakest point on that line happened to be right where that car was parked...ouch. One hawk, two burnt cars, and six hours without power things were back to normal.

The Next Ten Years

2006-11-19T23:54:00.000-08:00

It is almost ten years to the day that things began to unravel for me. By now I was supposed to be married with a family, possibly working in academia after obtaining my PhD in History from one of several prominent east coast grad schools I was applying to...none of that happened and the true tale is too long to go into here.

I've come to accept things as they are and now some ten years later I'm moving forward with my life and pledging to myself to become the man I was meant to.

In the next ten years...

- I will work to become the best man I can, to attract the woman of my dreams/future wife.

- Be a loving and supportive husband and one day a father whom my future children will be proud of.

- Live a lifestyle that promotes and maintains my overall health.

- Show more appreciation for my family and friends.

- Surround myself with a core of friends who share my general values but accept and appreciate our differences.

- Strengthen the bond with my extended family and be there for them when they need me, as family and as a friend.

- Better express my feelings towards those people I care about.

- Develope my writing craft and boldly write what is in my heart.

- Finish my first screenplay to honor its subjects, a mother and son, whom I've come to love as if they were family. To share their story with the world.

- To make a differnce in the lives of those less fortunate than myself, especially children.

- Find my place in the world, both physically and spiritually, and do my best to leave it better than I found it.

- Live my life in a way that would make my relatives, those who have gone before me and this still with us, proud.

Decori decus addit avito

Apple Cup Memories

2006-11-18T00:14:00.000-08:00

Since 1979 I've only missed watching, listening or attending one Apple Cup game. Though I've mellowed with time I still get pretty intense when Apple Cup Saturday rolls around.

I've had family, friends and fraternity brothers who've attended the ewe, good people all, but as teams and fans go I hate 99.9% of them, with a passion. But this isn't about me spewing the evils of Muttlake, this is about going back in time and remembering some of my best memories of Apple Cups past.

1982 (7th grade)- Myself and a few friends got in general admission and then quickly snuck into the students section where all the fun was. It was cold my friends but the majority of Coug fans were feeling no pain :) I remember the energy build to kickoff and when the Cougs took the field they surprised us by changing out of their gray pants and wearing all crimson, the crowd went nuts. We had a brutal year and all the mutts had to do was make quick work of the Cougs and it was off to Pasadena for the Rose Bowl. The whole game the Cougs took the mutts best shot and hung in the game, even holding the lead late in the game. The excitement shared all game was replaced by gloom as the mutts rolled out their All-American kicking machine Chuck Nelson to put the mutts ahead late to clinch the game and bring heartbreak to the Cougs again. The stadium held its collective breath as he approached the ball and there was little to no sound as the ball floated towards the field goals....OH MY GOD HE MISSED IT !!! and Martin Stadium freakin shook. To say we went nuts is an understatement, most rushed the field but we headed for the tunnel to the lockerrooms to bask in the victory and taunt the mutts. I remember the cheerleaders crying as we hurled insults and laughed at them, mostly I recall one of the mutt lineman trying to charge into the crowd to exact a bit of revenge, which only made the taunts increase in intensity. The crown jewel of the day was that I got a pair of sweaty wristbands from a WSU player...I didn't take them off for weeks :)

1988- Not having tickets I decide to watch the game from the Compton Union Building (CUB), so amidst the bitter cold I watched in warmth from right next door to the stadium. The Cougs were down at half and the temp was dropping, it did not look good.
Walking around the CUB I bumped into a friends mom who had had enough of the cold and offered me her ticket. Who was I to refuse? So dressed in only sweats I headed off to see the second half. Her ticket was amazing, having connections in the athletic department the seats were basically 50 yard line 30 rows up right in with WSU athletic coaches and staff. It was not long until they noticed me and my lack of winterized wardrobe and then head basketball coach Calvin Sampson offered to have my sit in the press box where it was a bit warmer. But I wanted to be in the mix so I politely declined, so they immediately set forth on a campaign to gather blankets on my behalf...A true Coug moment...Grateful for the blankets I settled in for the second half to start...and then it happened, the sign to all Coug fans that this day would go our way...one flake and then two, Martin stadium erupted and Mother Nature smiled on the boys from the Palouse 32-31. Walking home after the game I remember this mutt fan cursing us...the usual insults, all we could do was laugh, to think they got beat by a bunch of hayseeds.

1992- I was living in Oregon and for the Apple Cup I went to a friend from Pullman's house. He had long since converted his roommates into honorary Cougs. So with Beer and chips we were ready to enjoy. Gametime arrives and my friend turns to the appropriate channel and there it was in all its glory.... Martin Stadium blanketed in snow. My friend and I went nuts and proclaimed the game OVER, his roomies were confused but we quickly explained that the mutts whined about the snow. We were right and Drew Bledsoe and the boys crush ewe dumb.

It has been too long since I've actually attended a WSU game, let alone an Apple Cup...but this heart still beats for my Cougs!

I attended 2 WSU-Oregon games while at UofO, there was never a question of loyalty. As an old friend that was playing for WSU said to me when I saw him on the field after the game and told him I went to UofO, but root for WSU he knowingly said "Once a Coug, Always a Coug".

Go Cougs !!!

Back from hibernation

2006-11-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Okay so I ran out of steam on my latest quest to blog, but I'm back more or less.

Some updates:

- Had a fantastic time at Mimi and Jimmy's wedding this last weekend, can't believe little Mimi is married... yikes I'm old. Great to see the cousins, everyone is looking good and their young ones are cute as can be and growing so fast.

- The workouts are going great...I've been swimming and lifting three times a week and working on cardio six times per week...had a slight hiccup while battling a cold but things are going well as I prepare to do my first triathlon in 2007...not sure where or when, details in time.

- My faith in the American electorate has been semi-restored. Glad to see Bush will have some oversight, my hope is that the Dems don't lose focus and start making good decisions for the American public. We were headed down a really bad road IMO and I hope we drastically change course behind leaders who make wise decisions.

- Was stopped on a walk by a woman who has seen me walk around the neighborhood for the last year or so...she was so kind to tell me how much weight I've lost and how well I'm doing. Moments like that give me so much energy and strength for the long road ahead.

More Amazing Feets

2006-10-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

While doing research for a scene I stumbled across this video. Lovely and inspiring stuff.

Amazing feets

2006-09-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

I just witnessed one of the greatest escapes from possible harm. Button and I were finishing a walk when we happened upon a squirrel fight, not just a fight but one of the knockdown dragout variety.

Even Button's instinct to charge smaller creatures was bypassed as this spectacle had her at a loss. At some point either one of the squirrels was getting it handed to him/her or finally saw us only feet away and decided it was time to go.

To my horror one of our furry friends headed for Sixth Avenue and what hoped was freedom. With heavy traffic I had a pretty good idea of how this was going to go down and I really didn't want to watch...but I couldn't help myself for the most part.

Mr. Squirrel made it about two feet into the road and realized the error of its ways. On a dime it jump straight vertical about 3 1/2 feet to avoid the first car, landed and then ran under the belly of another and that is when things looked grim. The squirrel and approaching SUV were on a collision course and I couldn't watch.

Closing my eyes for a moment I heard impact, a clear thud and then something in me had to look, I'm not proud of that but nonetheless I opened my eyes and what did I see... Mr. Squirrel must have dodged the SUV, instead of getting hit head-on which looked invitable, he was agile enough to get out of the way. The thud I assume was an ill-advised jump which landed it into the side of the SUV.

By the time I saw the action again he had gathered himself and dodged another car behind the SUV before making it safely on the otherside of the road. As I stood there amazed, stunned and damn impresssed, a most fitting end to the scene... from the safety of his tree Mr. Squirrel proceeded to tell the other squirrel, button, myself, traffic and whoever else would listen what he thought of them conspiring against him.

I'm a loser

2006-09-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Normally I would post this to my health blog, but I decided to post this to the flagship instead. My spirits are high, my workouts are going amazing and except for a minor bout with blisters I have zero complaints.

Workouts six days a week in the AM and walks/cardio in the evening. Tonight I decided to walk about two miles and on the way stop off a steep set of stairs and see if I could crank out 5 sets going and 5 more on the way back. I wasn't sure but promised myself to do my best. I'm happy to report I did 5 on the way and 6 on the way back to push past what I hoped to do. I only used the rails for assistance on 1 set (the first) and then realized I could make it on my own. The thighs burned but I made it with a smile on my face.

I wore a shirt today that I haven't been able to fit in for almost ten years. I'm going to blow past what I thought was previously possible and shock people who haven't seen me in a while...count on it.

Simply Beautiful

2006-09-24T23:36:00.000-07:00

Please Enjoy!

Ray Brown Trio : An amazing trio that I had the fortune of seeing in person, it was a night I will not soon forget. Perfection.

If I loved you
Summertime

Sonny Rollins: Perhaps my favorite musician, it is hard to find the words...just listen to his music and it's all the explanation you need.

Some background and Music
Two musical giants
God Bless the Children

John Coltrane: What more needs to be said?

Giant Steps
With Miles doing "So What"
Afro Blue

Art Blakey: The legend who took countless future jazz greats under his wing and taught them how it was done.

Dat Dere
Blues March

Dizzy Gillespie: A jazz God that I had the fortune to see live, he truly sent shivers down my spine that night. I was struck that night by his power, sophistication, restraint and precision.

with Yardbird
with Arturo Sandoval

okay that is all for now...I will have to this again..I had a blast and I hope you enjoy!!

What is happening to me ?

2006-09-24T00:00:00.000-07:00

Watching sports have always been huge in my life. I was the kid that faked the Sunday morning sleep-in and/or flu for years to get out of going to Mass so I could watch every NFL game on Sundays. You name the sport (except nascar....sorry not a sport) and I watched it joyfully. Pre-game, post-game, heck I didn't have to any emotional investment to love watching.

It has been happening a little bit more each year, indifference has begun to creep in. My heavens I took a nap during the Cougar game today and once the game was in hand I switched off to read and work on my writing.

A knock at the door

2006-09-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today, while deep in writing mode I hear this knock at the back sliding glass door. No big deal I figure it came from next door, and the neighbor who regularly makes such noises, so I go back to writing.

A minute later three distinct knocks at the door and this time I was sure it wasn't the neighbors door. Button, who was sleeping, stirred and looked at me like what is going on. Seeing no shadow at the door I got up to answer the knocks and what did I find but a pesky Steller's Jay knocking away.

This is its second appearance, the last time it raised quite a fuss amongst the birds. Opening the door it flew off to the neighbor's rooftop and like the last time the birds around went nuts. Not sure why it keeps coming back, there are basil plants and tomatoes growing outside so I'm wondering if that has its interest.

Clay Aiken gets my vote

2006-09-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Flipping channels a few minutes ago I came upon a "Hollywood" interview with Clay Aiken, and the interviewer could not help herself from asking him if he was gay.

I have to say I'm more impressed with his answer than I am his singing skills (though I admit he has talent)...he turned the question back on the interviewer, why should it matter to her or anyone else? Bravo Clay, freakin Bravo.

While I'm not opposed to seeing celebs grilled with tough questions (see I think with their status should come some social responsibility), asking about them about their sexual preference is nothing short of moronic.

I was about to ask myself if those shows are above such nonsense, but of course I know they aren't.

It is my intention

2006-09-20T22:21:00.000-07:00

Ok one of the things I've been dreaming about for a long long time is getting some tattoos. Objects and sayings that are deeply personal to me and act as a source of motivation for me to continue to head down the correct pathes in life.

So sometime in 2007 when I've lost more of this weight, I plan to reward myself with my first tattoo... So far I've made an evergrowing list of what I want done.

1. Over my heart I plan to have the Erskine Crest and either replace "Je Pense Plus" (I Think More) with the other Erskine Motto "Decori decus addit avito" (He adds honor to that of his ancestors) or get that tatooed somewhere else.

2. Not sure of the placement but the next one is this. Apparently I said this back 1978, she reminded me of it and I've been fascinated and eager to learn from that wise innocent little boy. I have other ideas for the quote that I hope could help others, but more of that later...

3. Again not sure of the placement, maybe back ... of an Orca-type fish (yes I realize Orcas are not fish) This "Killer" Whale that is anything but. Maybe not a surprise to some of you I would name him "Billy Fish" (who also isn't a fish). A fish that some viewed from his exterior as being tough, but inside he was as gentle as they come, yet that part that people fear is always hidden beneath the surface.

4. A portrait tattoo of the subject of my screenplay. Probably an arm tattoo, he has become a part of me and it would be my honor to get a tat of him. I owe him so much I can't even put it into words.

5. The "we are the poor rabble" quote (see reign of the rabble for it). Probably on the inside of one of my forearms as a reminder. I came upon this quote while doing a history paper and from the minute I read it, those words were seared into me and I felt one with what he was trying to say.

6. On my back I would love to do a totem-like tattoo with each level of it being relevant to my life and the things that have shaped me...definately something that will take more time to design but I have the concept of it.

Maybe more in time after that... I could get an outline to my fraternity brand that is on my right arm. Life will dictate what else is in the cards tattoo-wise but I really am lookig forward to my first. Stay tuned.

Second to Nun

2006-09-18T15:31:00.000-07:00

I want to take this post to pay tribute to and wish a very happy birthday to my mother Mabel Catherine aka Sis, Sister Rosemary, Boomer, Mabes... The oldest of seven children and mother to one very lucky guy.

It is kind of nice for the ego to know that she turned her back on God just to have me (see photo) okay so maybe too drastic a statement, but hey I'm controlling this blog.

Happy *cough*ty-second Birthday mom!

p.s. Happy Birthday (belated or otherwise) to all family and friends having September Birthdays.

I wish I spoke jazz

2006-09-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Today the urge came to me to listen to some jazz pieces I haven't heard for years. The other day I found myself listening over and over to Coltrane and Johnny Hartman's Lush Life, a classic to be sure, you would be hard pressed to find a better voice than Hartman.

I went looking for my old Art Blakey tapes, yeah I said tapes. He and the Jazz Messengers do a instrumental version of "Polkadots and Moonbeams" that is simply beautiful and from the first time I heard I fell in love. I listen to a fairly diverse range of music, but nothing comes close to jazz. Instead of just making me tap my toes, it stirs my soul, speaking in such a beautiful and rich language.

Case in point, I'm not one terribly skilled talking to another person. Yes I can joke around and make someone perhaps crack a smile, but I rarely open up to others on what is going on inside me...maybe I don't want to scare them away or I fear they just won't care, either way it would surely get lost in the awkwardness of my presentation, so I've learned to keep it in.

The beauty of jazz to me is the fact that I could spend hour upon hours trying to communicate the different stories of my life, good and bad, or I could play Count Basie's "lil Darlin'" as performed by the Ray Brown Trio and those stories would unfold just like it they do each time to me. Jazz KNOWS me and that is perhaps why I love it so.

Now excuse me while I spend some time with "lil Darlin'"

Is it healthy to dream about killing?

2006-09-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

So last night I had yet another one of my weird dreams. The entire dream is somewhat fuzzy but what I do remember was killing, with my bare hands and with great joy.

I remember getting a call from someone out at the property (for non-family folks (if there are any reading this) it is sort of the extended family's base camp) that there was trouble and I was needed ASAP. I drove like a freakin mad man, I could feel it building in me, yes the urge to kill.

So I arrive and what should be Grandpa's house, though it was more like a barn. Then I hear it, terrible screams of someone in great pain...okay the heart is racing a bit. As I make my way closer it sounds like someone/thing is bouncing off the damn walls. Clearly I'm in for a fight, undeterred I go inside...nothing. I have a look around and just when I feel relaxed...BAM !!!

I get blindsided by a masked exercise ball. *sidenote* Okay I'm not sure why it is masked, chances are I couldn't pick it out of a line up, so what gives?...back to dream...So the ball is straining for a piece of me and with all the strength I can muster, I dig in my finger and squeeze the life out of that damn ball.

Never did see anyone out there, but looking back those screams probably sounded quite a bit like me when I tangle with the exercise ball everyother day doing ab work.

For shame MTV

2006-09-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

Ok I'll admit I'm probably no longer in their target audience...and I'm over the fact that MTV or Music Television doesn't actually play music videos any more, atleast not any meaningful amount as far as I can tell. To be truthful we parted ways many a year ago and I have to give them some credit for staying afloat in an era where popular music is as bad as I thought was possible.

I'll say it for all to hear... If MTV would combine two of their shows they would win me back YESTERDAY!

Tonight while flipping channels I happened upon Punk'D, the show where Demi Moore's hubby/Boytoy pranks celebs on their own over the top version of candid camera. A bit tired but is good for a mindless chuckle or two.

And then I saw it...The logical destination for Punk'D, a show that screams "Punk'D marry me !!"...not sure of the name but MTV also has a show where kids who are just about to turn 16 throw a tantrum to their parents and whoever else is around/at their service. These aren't just your normal everyday kids, no these are the pampered mega-rich who demand just the right car, and the most outrageous, over the top sweet sixteen party to make them the envy of all their friends.

Oh MTV what do we have to do to bring these shows together and give these sweet sixteen year olds a birthday they will never forget? :)

Some changes on the way

2006-09-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

After giving it some thought I've decided to divide up my blogging, instead of dumping all my ideas here, I will post to four separate blogs.

This site will remain to house my general thoughts on life and whatnot, in addition I will be posting more to INT. MY HEAD - DAY/NIGHT, which will be dedicated to my writing.

For fans of my semi-angry...okay angry posts regarding politics and social justice, never fear I will posting to what I will call "The Reign of the Rabble".

Finally and most important of all will be my yet titled health blog where I will chronicle my struggles and triumphs on my way to a fit me.

I hope there is something for everyone to sink their teeth into, I look forward to sharing with and especially hearing from you.

Life Lesson #4

2006-09-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Perhaps sometimes it is best to treat oneself as you would a tough cut of meat you wish to tenderize through BBQ, heat it low and slow.

Yesterday during my workout I developed a bit of a stitch in my back, nothing serious, I was just having a hard time loosening it up. Before bed I decided applying treatment via a heating pad sounded good.

It felt so good I decided on medium-high until i felt sleepy and then I'd turn it down to low or off. Three-Thirty in the morning I wake up massively overheating, of course forgetting that heat makes me ultra-sleepy. I make it back to sleep seemingly non the worse for wear, some weird dreams but what else is new.

So I get up and as I prepare for my workout I discovered a nice blistering of the skin in the area where the heating pad was....Nicely done William!

p.s. The workout went great.

Thoughts of September 11th

2006-09-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

It is impossible for me to not give my two cents worth today on this the fifth anniversary of the attack on the Twin towers and the Pentagon.

First, there is no way I can some up all of my feelings and thoughts regarding the initial attacks and then this country’s response, but I’ll do my best to stay focused and semi-rational.

Like countless others I can remember the moments like they were yesterday, I was thousands of miles away, but it was truly a defining moment for this country and a generation that few old enough to remember will forget.

For me up until the towers actually fell it was like a blur, racing from channel to channel at a mind numbing speed to try to understand what was happening. But once the last tower fell I had two distinct thoughts that I could not shake from my mind. My first thoughts were off those poor people who never stood a chance, trapped hopelessly and knowing that they would not likely make it out alive. The second was off those people who would pay with their lives from America’s response. I’m not talking about those who had a hand in the attack, but the people who are living their lives on the other side of the planet the best way they know how.

I don’t consider myself a terribly religious man but for the first time in a long time I found myself praying for the victims and more importantly as I saw it, for our leaders to have the foresight and leadership that we needed so badly at that moment. My politics lean heavily to the left and I for one had no trouble with a military response, I would venture to say most American regardless of political affiliations felt the same. We were under attack and those responsible needed to be sought out and eliminated.

Sadly the government let an opportunity slip by, countries all over the world were with us, the attacks of 9-11 were an attack against humanity and decency. I remember getting emotional at seeing the three minutes of silence throughout Europe and shows of support from all over. But soon this administration choose to strike out on its own with a few “coalition of the willing” and divert from the mission of bringing those responsible for the 9-11 attacks to justice, and use the attacks to justify their long held plans to invade a Iraq and overthrow its government.

So here we are five years later, Iraq has not gone according to plan; the Taliban, which protected and housed those responsible for the attacks of September 11th, is showing signs of gaining strength once again in Afghanistan and the America is not looked at in the same light it had been in the past. Instead of being a big part of the solution, increasingly we are looked at as a part of the problem. Maybe it shouldn’t matter what others think, but to me with power comes responsibility and there was a golden chance for this country to truly lead, but sadly in my opinion “our leaders” failed us badly.

Now with an election year upon us we are hearing the “blame game”, fingers point here and there...Clinton is responsible for 9-11, Bush is responsible..... Yet one thing is clear. BIN LADEN AND HIS TERROR NETWORK ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PLANNING AND BRINGING THE TOWERS DOWN. End of story. I have a hard time believing a single official either Republican or Democrat would have not done everything in their power to stop the attacks if they had foreseen what would take place.

So instead of looking back to find blame, yes look back; to learn the lessons we can apply to our lives, remember those that were lost and never forget the heroic deeds performed on that day.

My biggest question is are we heading in the right direction? I still do not know how to answer that, but my gut says that we got off the right track shortly after September 11th.

Life Lesson #3

2006-09-10T17:02:00.000-07:00

There are moments in our lives when life takes us gently by the hand and shows us the error of our ways with as little harm as possible, when our actions could have or should have warranted a harsher outcome.

Case in point:

Life Lesson #1- A young William (circa 1980), full of imagination and Olympic aspirations decided to practice high jumping in his bedroom. Having a bed that doubled nicely for the landing pit, he lacked only a bar to jump over. With ten year old logic in hand he decided a #2 pencil propped up with the writing-side pointing skyward would do the trick. It was only until he successfully landed and looked down between between his legs to see the pencil still where he placed it and only an inch from a rather vital area did he understand a whole lot more was at stake besides the gold medal. *gulp*

Life Lesson #2- Circa 1986ish...William excited to be regularly shaving (sidebar- that excitement lasted about as long as the thrill of going to a bar once I turned 21...not long). So amidst of the excitement and inexperience of shaving ones facial hair, William gets frustrated because his razor keeps getting clogged with hair. A more experinced shaver would run the razor under water or swish it around in a sink full of water...not William. What better way to to clean the blades than just remove said hair with your hands? Many bandages later I then understood the beauty of water...sustaining life, carving out the grand canyon and removing troublesome hairs from a razor blade.

Life Lesson #3- Circa an hour ago... I learned long ago to wash your hands after preparing foods before you eat, didn't I? Surely cracking fresh black peppercorns and then sprinkling over food doesn't really count. I mean I've worked with Pork, Chicken, Beef...etc, while working in a butcher shop years ago. I was always careful not only for the customers sake, but for mine as well. It is rather comical, I mean what are you going to catch from ground black pepper...*think to self* dang let me get that loose eyelash...DOH !!!

The Sweetest Sound

2006-09-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a subtle but sweet difference between the two breeds of dog I have mostly been around, Cocker Spaniels and Labs. Generally I prefer the lab, they tend to be a bit goofier and a slight bit more affectionate. Maybe this was just the case with my former dog Chester.

Last night however I heard the sweetest sound. Button (Cocker Spaniel) was laying on her side and I decided to rub her tummy. At first she eyed me with some suspicion, but after a few seconds on well-placed rubbing to her ribs and belly I heard it... a series of staccato thumps from her stumpy little tail striking the cushion below her, a sure sign of approval.

Now I loved Chester but in all honesty, everytime he wagged his tail like that you were either at risk of getting thumped or he would surely knock something over on the coffee table.

The Greatest Music Video in the World

2006-09-02T04:45:00.000-07:00

I have yet to watch it without cracking up laughing....nay, we are but men !

Feeling good is good enough....

2006-09-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note... Feeling pretty good lately, the creative juices are pumping like mad and I started up the workouts a few weeks ago. Not sure what direction this blogging is going to take but I'm planning on sharing more of my thoughts with the world ...lucky you!

My next piece will most likely be about my writing, with an emphasis about the screenplay that has consumed my life for too long. I'm finally coming to grips with the realization that it is something I am destined to do. But I'll get into it in more detail later...

I hope all is well, wherever you happen to be...

I finally asked her out...and she said yes !

2006-08-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

Okay so it actually happened in a dream. Okay some of you may say how incredibly sad this is, but damnit it was my dream !

So I'm now 36 years old...whew...but last night I had a dream that I asked out the girl of my dreams... no hollywood starlet or super-model...better than that, the girl I fell for when I was a mere 12 year-old kid.

It wasn't a crush, I had a couple of those over the years, the first time I saw her I knew she was the most beautiful girl I had seen or will ever see in my lifetime. When we actually met it was even better, we dug eachother (well that is my recollection) but in my masterpiece of social ineptitude, I never said the things I should have and we never progressed passed the confusion of adolescence...not so much as a date or even a damn kiss.

I'm not 100% sure why I'm blogging this (Odds are if you think this topic is lame, then you have already stopped reading by now.)

My best guess... no strike that, I know that the 12 year-old boy inside me still loves that girl and will until (hopefully) as an old man I draw my final breath. And if I'm lucky between now and then I'll finally get the chance to tell her what that little boy was too scared to.

Back to the dream...was quite simple, I went to a place where she worked (not the actual place) and there she was, yeah the heart went pitter-patter even in my sleep. She looked at me the way she did when we were kids, I gathered myself and asked her out, she smiled as if to say finally and then we kissed...it was so nice I stole another one and then woke up as happy as I've been in ages.

The 12 year-old still dreams...

Why?

2006-08-05T04:46:00.000-07:00

Why is it I have to watch CBC, BBC and/or Democracy Now to see indepth the plight of the Lebanese people ?

Why is every single Israeli strike on UN observer posts/ambulances/residential buildings/shelter/agricultural truck/etc... explained away by the US media as done because Hezbollah launched a rocket attack nearby?

Why would a foreign government not want an immediate cease fire while thousands of its citizens are in harms way?

Why isn't there more scrutiny of IMO Israel's disproportionate responses, from shooting rock throwers to now killing hundreds over the initial kidnapping of two soldiers?

Why does the US media spend more time on Mel Gibson than actual news?

Why?

Tour De WTF

2006-08-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to give Floyd Landis the benefit of the doubt, innocent until proven guilty... I still have admiration for all those who punish their bodies on the three week tour, however I'm just tired of all the bullshit, I sincerely hope Landis' test comes back a false positive, but if he is guilty then I wish he would be man enough to come out and admit to it. Enough with all the excuses, it would do my heart a tiny bit of good for one of these cheaters to come out with a sincere apology.

In baseball so many are willing to look past the obvious and play up the accomplishments without as much as an acknowledgement that they were gained outside the spirit and/or laws governing society/sports.

I keep thinking of those lyrics... "Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio...."

Tour De Landis

2006-07-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

So how many of you paid attention to this (or any) years Tour De France? Lance Armstrong brought attention to the race to the masses in America. Not only with his compelling battle against cancer, but his dominance on the bike after he overcame testicular cancer.

I wasn't sure what to expect during this years tour, no Lance and then on the eve of the race favorites Ivan Basso and Jan Ullrich were sent home amid blood doping allegations... Not the best way to start this years tour.

From early on it was evident that Floyd Landis was a force to be reckoned with, but he wasn't Armstrong dominant and he lack the flash of past greats. What he did do was pound the petals day after day and while his opponents showed cracks, Floyd rode strong and steady. It was going down as a rather ho-hum tour until the riders hit the Alps.

The Alps have lately been the place where Armstrong made his move and crushed the will of the other hopefuls. We waited and hoped for more fireworks amongst the leaders in this years tour. Landis set the tone on Stage #15 up the legendary Alpe D'Huez, gaining back the leader's jersey his team gave away days earlier. It looked as if the race was over, only two more stages in the Alps and Landis was in good form.

Stage #16. Everything was going to plan when the unthinkable happened, Landis bonked, he had no response to his opponents attacks and ended up crawling to the finish 8:10 minutes behind the new leader...his chance at yellow slipped away.

And then came Floyd Landis' defining moment. Instead of looking forward to wearing yellow into Paris, it appeared all Landis had to look forward to was hip replacemnt surgery for a dying hip socket from a crash years ago. It would have been understandable if Landis would have pulled out and gone home, others have over far less reasons. But on stage #17 Landis rode perhaps the greatest one day race there has ever been.

With 130 km Floyd attacked the Peleton (main body of riders) on the first climb on what some called the toughest stage of the tour. Breakaways rarely succeed in the tour and they have no chance if the peleton thinks the rider is a threat. Yet Floyd Landis went alone and rode those last 130 km like a man on a mission. The peleton tried to bring him back but his will to win was stronger and nearly erased the previous days results, he was only :30 behind the leader with the time-trial upcoming.

Needless to say Landis put in a great time-trial and rode into Paris on Sunday with a lead over his next competitor of nearly one minute. His guts and determination put him right up there with Armstrong, and once again brought a great story to light.

I've watched countless tours, sadly none in person, and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the Tour De France is the single greatest sporting event on this planet and the strength it takes just to finish last is incredible.

VIVE LE TOUR !!!!

Grandpa's Day

2006-07-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday, July 1st, was a great day. Uncle Gaylen, Gaylen B., Grandpa and myself decided to make a day of it at the Museum of Flight. The reason I wanted to attend in the first place was they would be hosted two WWII era bombers, including a B-24 like the one grandpa served as a bombardier on.

When we met up at the museum, the B-24 had just left to give folks a 30 minute ride around the Seattle-area. So we toured the main museum and its extensive collection of all things aviation....and I mean ALL things. It was incredible to see how far aviation has come in such a realitively short period of time. Uncle Gaylen had a story and background info on so many things there I started to feel sorry for all those around us because it is one thing to look at the collection, it is another to have someone passionate about aviation there to explain things to you.

We then left that exhibit and toured the William E. Boeing Red Barn, again I was blown away, this time by the craftsmenship that was on display. The Red Barn was an original site where workers crafted parts for airplanes, boats and even furniture. After taking it all in I decided to head outside to see if the B-24 had arrived back, it had.

I was taken aback when I first saw the B-24, I had seen it plenty of times in pictures but seeing it in person was a treat. I had to chuckle to myself when we got there, grandpa climbed up and under the belly of the B-24 probably much like he did some 60 years ago, perhaps a bit slower but he was in his element. Nothing prepares you for the cramped quarters they had to work in and how they managed to perform incredibly under what must have been hellish conditions.

Seeing that bomber I get a clearer picture of what grandpa did in WWII and I'm in awe of him and realize it is a small miracle that my mother didn't end up an only child and grandma widowed. Before Saturday if you asked what grandpa did as a bombardier I would have probably just said sit at his station and drop bombs with the push of a button...I know different now. Under the belly of the B-24 there is a narrow "catwalk", connected on the outside of it are the bombs. Before making his way forward to release his bombs, the bombardier would walk along this catwalk and arm the bombs...mind you that there is no floor, except the ground roughly 25.000 feet or so below and nothing but a few beams to hold on to as he made his way, grandpa mentioned he would, of course, take his trusty parachute with him. Once armed, he went forward to a freezing little compartment were he would kneel over his equipment while lining up targets. Once the bombs were away grandpa went back over the catwalk to the back of the bomber and on a few occasions he manned the waist gun. An incredible account can be found here of his crews very first mission.

As we walked around the aircraft grandpa met another B-24 vet who also flew over Italy (see picture). I won't bore you with all the details, but what an honor to be able to stand there and listen to these courageous men swap stories... soon others came around to listen to these men and bask in all that history..incredible stuff. I will never know what it is like to have that bond, but it was beautiful to see these two old men relive those times when they answered their generations call to duty and now be recognized, albeit informally as the heroes they are still to this day...The beauty of it for me was I felt like I got to know my grandfather a little bit better...I am honored and humbled to call myself his Grandson.

What in the world happened to USA Soccer ?

2006-06-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

OK it is obvious to say that the men's USA squad fell a wee bit short of expectations. Granted we are not on par with the Brazilians and the Germans (to name a few) yet in football..sorry soccer. But I watched each team in the USA's bracket and all the US could manage was ONE goal on their own?

What happened to the team that was being hyped constantly by Nike? Note to Nike, perhaps hyping should occur next AFTER the team actually does something. Perhaps I am not seeing the bigger picture...thats right it occurred to me following todays loss to Ghana that in a brilliant marketing move Nike is now poised to mass-market a football...sorry soccer shoes that give the wearer actual super powers! Thats right choose either the Air Donovan or the Air Beasely and instantly you have the power to be invisible !!

In all honesty I am enjoying the world cup...Argentina looks amazing and it should be quite a battle for the title. But The world cup is just a tune up for me, I was really looking forward to the upcoming English Premiership season until Michael Owen broke my heart ( and every other Toon fans) when he tore his ACL a few days ago. Win or lose I'll cheer on my Magpies (yeah a guy from Seattle falls for Newcastle United without ever setting foot in England)...please just don't spend a nickel transfer fee on either Donovan or Beasely !

Howay The Lads !

OK I'm back...for now

2006-06-21T01:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Folks it has been awhile since I've graced these parts. Will felt the burnout and got tired of ranting about this and that, though it seems to be in my nature. *sigh*

I'm not sure yet what direction my blogging will go on here but I'd like to keep it a bit lighter than before...have no fear I'm just as bitter and jaded as before but spare you my internal dialogue :)

Stay tuned for local programming....

I MADE IT PAST DAY 57 !!!!

2006-01-26T15:11:00.000-08:00

Hey again all... Today marked my 57th day this round and I am happy to announce that I feel great. Ok for some background I must explain that this is my fourth attempt at doing a full 90 days straight, my first round went 90 days but the following two rounds both ended prematurely, oddly enough both on day 57. I've come a long way and even on the days I feel down, I see the changes that have come so far and it helps lift my spirits a bit.

Yesterday on my off-day walk I marveled at how the pants I was wearing just a few months ago had no chance of getting on me and the shirt I was wearing on day 1 of my first round back in 2004 fit me snug while almost making it to my waistline and clung tightly to my belly...as of yesterday it was draped over my butt and comes to just below mid-thigh in the front...very proud.

As the pounds come off so to do the emotions. Pride that I have the strenght to come from a place that not many have and an excitement of what awaits...But also a sense of sadness at the people whom I have let slip away, both friends and people I cared for at some point but was too afraid to let down my facade and show them who I really was. As a bi-product of all this I hope I can find my niche again...

Half way there...

2006-01-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

Today marks my 45th day in my 90 day boot camp! I came into this round slightly worried about my shoulder, and now I sit here proud that I've built up the strength in it enough to double the weight I started out with (30lb per dumbbell currently). I've given myself to this program and it is showing, my weight is down and my fitness WAY up, there is no stopping me...PERIOD.

After thinking of sending in a audition tape for the show "The Biggest Loser", I was surprised to find out that they were holding an open casting call in Seattle this past week. So Tuesday moring I went and stood in line with about 150-200 other hopefuls. Met some nice people and had a good time, but in the end I did not get a call back...Although I did get interviewed for "Evening Magazine". I knew my chances were long and like I told those in line I'm losing the weight with or without the show...but it would have been cool to have been worked out by Jillian Michaels..oh well.

My health is the foundation for a long and prosperous life.... and what a foundation I am building!!!

Seventeen has turned Thirty-Five

2006-01-05T19:39:00.000-08:00

I just received John Mellencamp's Greatest Hits in the mail today... purchased on a B&N gift card. Anyhow, I pop the CD in and wow did the memories come flooding back! It was like being back in Pullman, a teenager again, cruising with friends not even sure what we were looking for..and maybe going 4X4in' in a random wheat field or two...good times and good memories.

Mr. A-Z....

2006-01-03T14:16:00.000-08:00

Submitted for your approval (or not) is a musician Jason Mraz, I saw him for the first time this summer when he opened for Alanis Morissette,. I had never heard of Jason Mraz before then, but as I sat watching him, waiting for Alanis, his talent was undeniable and left many of the crowd stunned with his quick lyrical wit and delivery.

It is hard to describe his style other than saying that he flawlessly keeps his "musical" style rooted in several camps... he raps flawlessly, is part pop, folk, and sounds as if he'd be at home in jazz as well. That evening Mraz delivered a set-full of original songs that stunned you, not only for the quality of lyrics, but for his ability to deliver freestyle raps that showed the audience his emmence sense of humor to match.

He is an artist that I will keep an eye on and I hope people lend an ear and give a chance.

Here is a video of his (more can be viewed from his multimedia area.

Gypsy MC High Bandwidth Low Bandwidth

Happy New Years All !!!

2006-01-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm dusting off the blog skills for the new year... All in all 2005 was too bad, I got closer to my health goals and with each day I feel better and better. 2006 promises to be exciting for me, well I'm hoping for it to be...one of my first tasks is to find someone who can give me access to their video camer for a 5 min "audition" tape I'm planning to make for a "reality "show...yeah that is correct I'm going to apply for one of those.

As a gift to myself for Christmas I got a few things, all designed to help push me in a positive direction both physically and with some other goals. A book I'm working on now is called "The War of Art", basically how to fight past your self-sabotage to create or find your artistic voice...I've let my insecurities over writing build up so long that this is a difficult battle for me, yet inside I know it is what I am supposed to do (please don't judge me abilities from this blog ;-) )

The ongoing gift of my workouts is going wonderfully, by my count I walked about 50 miles in the last week, along with some killer workouts...it is not a matter of if but when now and I'm excited for the next phase in this journey. My dream of a triathlon gets closer each day... sorry if you came for any insight....this is a brain spill....hoping your 2006 is happy and safe...and please, by all means check in with me and let me know how you are.

Will

My Christmas

2005-12-25T21:30:00.000-08:00

First Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all reading this!

Christmas started off well, I attended Mass with mom to hear her read...Despite my fears of being struck down by a bolt from the heavens, my reluctance to attend in hindsight seem a tad bit silly, that being said I'm not tempting fate.

I got to test out one of my gifts today, a pedometer to give me a clearer idea of who far/long I was actually going on my walks and workouts...Between my morning workout and evening walk according to the pedometer I went 11,119 steps, 10,087 steps in aerobic mode for 90 minutes and 6.1 miles. I ate the normal stuff today but my intake for the whole day is probably less than some single meals I've had in the past and best of all I've had all on one-half of a shortbread cookie this whole holiday season. I'm starting to notice changes in my midsection, I'm excited but realize that this is just the beginning.

All in all a good day, makes me think of all the past Christmas' so in my next post I think I'll revisit some of mt favorite memories from Christmas' past. Take Care and I hope you had a great day!

I saw a set of those spinning rims last night

2005-12-22T15:51:00.000-08:00

It was the first time I had seen them in person. I was stopped with Button on our walk last night and this car pulls up to the light. The driver gave me a look like "yeah, what do you think of them". I deferred my opinion to Button, who was relieving herself on a nearby patch of grass....I concurred.

Phase 2 begins

2005-12-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

I have no complaints on how my exercise and diet is going...as a new week (4) begins I am cranking up the intensity of my workouts. On the 3 days I lift, after I do the four round circuit I will spend a couple of sets hitting more specific areas such as biceps, triceps, chest and back twice a week and in between those days I am sandwiching an intense session to target my quads, calves and hammies...should be fun. The 3 other days I do cardio I will be supplementing the additional Abs workout that I have been doing. I anticipate the first week will be tough and I'll be sore but I'm excited to see where this takes me.

It is hard to explain the change in me, a switch went off back in 2004 and as I get closer and closer to my goal the intensity of these feelings grows stronger. The closest I can explain it as is that feeling I used to get as a kid when I took the mound to pitch...the moment I stepped on the mound I KNEW I would win and that you couldn't touch me....in this "game" The end game is already written and now I just need to work hard each day to realize that day for myself as soon as possible...and I am excited for you to meet that new man, I get glimpses and it amazes me.

I am learning to let go of my regrets from the past and focus on what my future holds...that is big for me, I've kicked myself a million times for not asking that certain girl out or one of other countless things I would change... but with this new body/life comes a new future....sorry to be getting all "Tony Robbins" on you, but one last thing that even Tony would be proud of....my new mantra, it came to me as I walked last night..."My health is the foundation of a new and prosperous life".

I Regret to inform my family...

2005-12-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

Yes indeed Billy Smith has died. The details are sketchy but apparently he wandered off into the wheat fields around Pullman some 25 years ago. It is something family has been unable to deal with all these years, holding on to his memory. Knowing him as well I did, I know he would want you all to move on, while not forgetting him, he would ask that you discontinuing invoking his memory by using his name. It will be hard I know, he was a good kid but those are his wishes...let him go....

Billy is survived directly by Will(iam), their relationship is unclear ;-)

More Great Music Sites

2005-12-20T00:38:00.000-08:00

Some months back, in the beginning of my Decemberists obsession, I found this site for a great morning show in california that highlights some great Indie artists that are out there, the show is called Morning Becomes Eclectic.

You can either listen to the acts which do set in studio or watch them perform if you have the connection speed for it. Of course I recommend The Decemberists ;) but I also have been digging Iron and Wine, The Arcade Fire, Jem, Laura Veirs and Josh Rouse.
I suggest sampling some of the artists you might not know about, tons of good stuff.

Two other sites I will mention before I totally ramble off... NPR's All Songs Considered has an amazing collection and some really cool concerts in their archives...highly recommended. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Seattle's own KEXP like they say, it is "Where the music matters"....incredible site with loads of goodies....go explore!

Great to see everyone last night

2005-12-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

A quick note to say it was great to see Clan Erskine last night....weird seeing the older of us cousins getting grayer and grayer each year and the kiddies getting cuter and cuter. Nice talking off-blog with James and Lief and a big thumbs up to Lief for that music site. good stuff. Gaylen can you email me a hundred or so songs from work? lol j/k.

I'm hoping in 2006 we can all (or the majority of us) can do a EGAD, so we can kick back and have some fun...I'm up for it when the weather gets nice and next winter when I plan to hit the slopes again !!! Oh yeah thanks for all the kind words, the next time most of you see me I hope to be quite a bit smaller...day by day.

Brokeback Mountain. "Big Hollywood" is at again...

2005-12-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I have not seen this movie.

However I am excited to see it, it was just the other day that I was thinking that Hollywood has been pretty skimpy on its Gay Westerns. Both on an aspiring screenwriter and human level I find it refreshing that this type of movie can be made and is comng out in front of the nation, if you will. I know it won't be long until the backlash hits and those who find the material offensive scream how subversive its message and Hollywood is.

My take, from what I've seen of the trailer and read of the reviews is that this is a love story no more no less. It is the premise that the mainstream audience might find hard to accept, but to me it is simply about two men that are conflicted because they find love and a kindred spirit in eachother.

I find the best scripts/movies have the biggest obstacles to overcome, they don't need to come in the form of man made or mythical evil creatures...sometimes it is scarier when that obstacle is from within and you realize instead of defeating it, you may have to come to accept it as a part of you. I personally don't see this film as an endorsement of the "gay" lifestyle as I am betting it will be labeled....even if it was/is I say cheers to the people who have the fortitude to make this movie.

Brokeback Mountain opens in limited release around the country friday december 16th...it will be playing in Seattle and I hope to see it and give my own review of it.

And so week 3 begins...

2005-12-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

My workout program is going well. I actually used my free weights for most of the lifts today, which is a minor miracle in and of itself. I hurt my left shoulder pretty severely this summer and while it is still not 100%, it is good enough to sustain more and more weight as time goes on.

As I went through the workout today my mind went back to those first days when I was just starting this program back in 2004. How I was physically not able to do the beginning workout without assistance of a chair and on most movements I flat out couldn't do them so I modified them to what I could do....now, while I'm far from perfect, I'm rockin' the advanced workout and I am starting to see who I will be one day soon physically...feels great.

The other night on my walk with Button we went about 3 miles and on the way back I jogged every other block, it feels like I've discovered a new toy and I want to play with it 24/7. My goal is to to a sprint triathlon this coming summer, it is something I've dreamt of doing most of my life and I will cross that finish line in 2006.

Well that is all for now on the health front.

Why does Will hate W**-Mart So?

2005-12-12T16:34:00.000-08:00

Ok this time I promise to keep my post clean...wait a minute that didn't come out right...arrggg another double entendre ! Alright I'll stop playing around...First let me apologize to all the "prostitutes" out there that deserve better than to be classified along side of "The evil company that shall not be named" or TECCTSNBN.

As many if not all know I grew up in Pullman, Washington... A small sleepy college/farrming town in southeastern Washington State. It pained me to know end when I heard "TECTSNBN" was planning to move their way into the Pullman economy. No doubt they will do a brisk business with all those college kids looking for bargains, but being that I grew up knowing some of the businesses and people they are sure to put out of business is it really a good thing for the community?

I won't bore you with the studies of how many local governments are being burden by "TECTSNBN" employees that do not make a liviable wage or benefits and have to rely on aid from the government to get by...It just seems fair to me that if you are giving an honest days work, on top of making $$$ up he Wazzu (pardon the pun) for a company they should reciprecate by taking care of their employees....sily me.

Alright a quick story why I favor the "little man" (great Alan Jackson song and extremely relevant)...There is nothing like walking into a store and just being able to chit chat with the person and know that they value you more than just a customer... The type of business "TECTSNBN" threatens to destroy in Pullman is the small "mom & pops" or family places. Why should we care right? competition is best right? Well one store, though I haven't been in to for ages, that is dear to my heart is Ken Vogel Clothing. I went to school with his kids and always was met with warmth when I stepped in his business.

I can't remember the year or the occasion, but I remember going to Vogel's to get a shirt and tie. Now at most places I would undoubtedly find what I need and pay up, rock bottom prices or not. Well Mr. Vogel probably saw how difficult the whole process was for me, I mean I wasn't born knowing how to tie a proper tie (wow that sounds akward...anywho) In the middle of his store Mr. Vogel gave me lessons in how to tie my tie. Those are the type of people "TECTSNBN" is going after and driving out of business so you can have really cheaply made stuff at a real low price...

Shabooya Sha Sha Shabooya....Roll call

2005-12-12T14:54:00.000-08:00

Hey Fam....With the get together next weekend I'm wondering who all is coming...I'm hoping ALL who are in the area, no excuses! When was the last time the WHOLE (who can honestly make it) family actually got together?

Also wondering who might have a video cam and if they would be willing to bring it to the party? I have a project that I need folks help with.

I'm excited to see everyone!!!

Welcome Rylee Ann !

2005-12-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

Just got the news this morning that we have an addition to the Erskine Clan! Congratulation to Cousin Mimi Teresa on the birth of her second beautiful daughter, can't wait to see both.

Week Two

2005-12-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

Just an update on things....the workouts are fantastic and Button is loving the two walks a day....I even made a couple of killer dishes this week that were compatible with the lifestyle change, my favorite was the lean turkey sausage & veggie pizza with skim mozzerella on whole wheat dough handmade and rolled paper thin...I still got the touch making pizza :) also had chicken breast with artichoke hearts and sundreid tomatoes over organic whole wheat pasta. Been walking about 3-4 miles a day and adding a bit of jogging to go with my daily aerobics/weightlifting session...feels great!

2005 2A State Champion Pullman Greyhounds

2005-12-03T15:33:00.000-08:00

Congrats to my old high school!!!! great to hear the young Hounds brought the title to the Palouse. They won today 28-24, sorry to say I was unable to attend but I was rooting from home!

My Own Private Turkey Bowl

2005-12-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

Okay so there was no turkey or football with friends. But I can relate all too well to my cousin Lief's lament on how sore he was the day after chasing grid-iron glory with friends and co-workers on turkey day.

Today is day 3 of Power90. I've done one complete 90 day round and several partial rounds (ended due to injury) so I'm well accustomed to what is dished out. So I thought why not just jump into the advanced level to begin with and now I remember why you start ... my muscle are screaming after my lifting workouts! It feels great on some level and it will all payoff in the end, and I guess the bright side of having sore muscles is it is a sign that I do have muscles ...somewhere in there :)

F*CKING Whore-Mart

2005-11-25T17:52:00.000-08:00

Ok I'm up on my soapbox for this post. Long ago I swore to myself that I would never set foot in a Whore-Mart store, I don't care if they are giving away the secret of long life and health for free, fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

So now it is the holiday season, and as we all know it is the time to celebrate insanely low prices for worthless shit by trampling over your fellow human being at fucking five o'clock in the morning.

Now we have the basic history of the Christmas season out of the way I must say well done to those fine folks at the South Hill Whore-Mart in Puyallup. Yes there were other displays of consumer zeal as impressive all over the country the morning after Thanksgiving (I even saw where retailers more and more are opening for shopping on Thanksgiving..but I digress) but it takes it happening close to home to really make you feel that pride.

In these days leading up to Christmas I beg you not to listen to those who would have you believe this time of year is about celebrating the birth of Jesus or those who advocate giving a hand to others... If it's 5:05AM and you and Jesus are battling for the last $378 laptop computer at Whore-Mart it is well within the spirit of the holidays to kick his ass. I mean what would Jesus do?

My first day back...

2005-11-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

Ok the first two weeks of this "diet" are behind and I'm allowed to introduce some fruits and carbs back into the diet. First before I go on I must say that those two weeks weren't bad at all and like others have said I didn't suffer from cravings a bit. Those fries (previously mentioned) are still in the freezer and I plan to keep them there until someone else grabs them for themself.

So what was my first meal back? This morning I prepapared Buckwheat pancakes topped with smart balance spread, light portion of syrup and homemade lean turkey sausage. For a snack I had half of an apple and I must say that I feel wonderful. buttton is loving the walks, which average two per day. The other day we discovered a wetlands in our neighborhood and she loved exploring it and so did I . Well I'm getting off of topic...Happy Thanksgiving to all reading this, especially those from the Erskine Clan :) miss you and hope to see everyone soon.

Dear Uncle Mike...

2005-11-19T20:04:00.000-08:00

Pullman High - 40
Orting High - 7

Orting came in 11-0...11-1 isn't a bad year at all :) Go Hounds!

Nine Years Ago Today

2005-11-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

I still remember that day, although most of it has been lost to time like any other normal day. I had just gotten home from classes and my then girlfriend told me that my mother had called and wanted me to stay near the phonne so I wouldn't miss her call. I immediately knew something was wrong, my mind raced over the possibilities...I waited for what seemed like hours dreading that call, and then it finally came.

I had always thought how unreal it looked and unlikely it was that a person to actually burst into tears, three words from my mother proved me wrong..."We lost Grandma" tore me open before I fully comprehended its actual meaning. I remember slamming my fist into the wall repeatedly, so hard that I believe that if someone would've been on the other end I would have killed them, how I did not break my hand I will never know.

Most of the rest is a blur, I remember at that moment that my decision to leave Washington and head to Oregon for college was a big mistake, I was away from the only thing that really mattered to me, family and even more so my grandmother who was one of the pillars that gave strength to this insecure kid trying to find his way. I also remember the intense guilt I felt that lasted for years because I was supposed to call her only days earlier, but decided against because Thanksgiving was coming up and I would see her then, I have finally forgiven myself for that, because I know she wouldn't have any of that.

What I also remember... walking into my grandparents home surrounded by family and all I could see was my grandpa, unlike the man that I grew up aroound. He was strong and steady, and stern at times, but before me was a man lost and broken, it almost hurt as much to see him like that than to hear those words telling me my grandma had passed away.

As a family we cried and laughed as we shared stories and our take on grandma. I, like the rest of the family was numb, I can't remember how long I stayed. I remember the service and seeing her brother Walt's eyes, I had never seen the level of sadness and anguish in another person eyes before...that alone nearly broke my heart.

Maybe the worst part for me was that I was scheduled to be back in Oregon shortly to take my GRE's to get into gradute school, at that moment school and Oregon were the further thing from my mind, I needed family....but I went. I remember trying to keep it together for my test, I had done well on pre-tests and was hopeful that I could get into the upper range of schools I was applying to...That lasted until the actual test, when it all came flooding out. I remember struggling to read the questions through my tears and swelling eyes, and the looks from others...what a time.

I think this entry got heavier than I intended but I feel better nonetheless. I also remember the great times with grandma; her always calling me "fat rabbit" when I played a practical joke on her or told her a fib just to wait for her reaction... her calling me "Billy Fish". somehow it was okay for her and no one else to say it...I remember how me and Gaylen would laugh to ourselves in the backseat as grandma hit the gas and brake pedal with her feet like a champion boxer worked the speed bag... and oh yes I remember the woman that used to steal french fries. God love her, see spared me some serious carbs.

I guess they say it gets easier..maybe it does. I'm sorry that some of my younger cousins didn't get a chance to really know her, for she was an incredible woman and I try to bring honor to her memory each and every day.

We miss you Gram

A First For Me

2005-11-16T12:44:00.000-08:00

There is bag of french fries sitting in the freezer that have been there more than a week. Before starting this journey it is unnlikely they would have seen their first sundown with me in charge of their care. And what is better is that I have no interest in them :)

Watch out Bose!!!

2005-11-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

Taking the first steps...

2005-11-09T10:26:00.000-08:00

In June 2004 I made the decision to start working out again and reclaim my health. While in a years time I made tremendous progress from where I started, in August I started a slow backslide. So today I gather myself not simply to lose weight, but to change my life; physically, mentally, and spiritually, I have a life that is waiting for me and the soon I take these steps the sooner I get to where I need to be.

So here below I am outlining a plan that I have set for myself. I am posting it so that you who know me will check in on me and make sure I am staying the course.

I, William A. Smith, hereby pledge to :

-Wake up by 6:30 AM daily on weekdays.

-Take Button for a walk for no less than 30 minutes a day.

-Do an aerobic workout six days per week.

-Eat five time per day (3 meals & 2 Snacks).

-Limit myself to one moderate serving.

-Do not eat later than 7:30 PM.

-Follow the guidelines of the "South Beach Diet".

-Write everyday for a minimum of four (4) hours per day.

-Watch no more than three hours of television per day.

-Be in bed and lights out by midnight on weekdays.

-Drink a minimum of a gallon of water per day.

-Play a minimum of one (1) hour of guitar per day.

-Read one book per week.

William A. Smith

I am excited to see the changes that come from this and to share them with you my friends and family.

The Decemberists on the web

2005-11-04T00:38:00.000-08:00

Besides their official website, I have found a few of their songs and a video or two floating legally around the net.

Songs:

Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect: mp3

The Soldiering Life: mp3 video (56k) (300k)

The Engine Driver: mp3

Sixteen Military Wives: video

Here I Dreamt I Was A Decemberist

2005-11-02T01:43:00.000-08:00

Ok I've never been in the position of thanking Meth addicts for anything, but if it weren't for some of them jonesing down in Portland and needing to steal some stuff to buy more junk I may never have gotten into the Decemberists.

This past spring I decided to go see a friend from Pullman and her band play in Seattle. They were playing as part of a multi-band benefit for a band from Portland Oregon that had recently had most of their gear stolen. As part of the gig, each band played a set and in it played one song from the band the proceeds this show was for, The Decemberists. Each time a band played a Decemberists tune I took note and by the end I was blown away by the level of writing that had gone into their songs, I had to hear more of them!

Since then I've become damn near obsessed with their music. Colin Meloy doesn't just write songs, he creates these wonderful universes that lets the subject not only live in, but allows the listener to enter and roam around a bit. It is also nice to hear him use such a rich language when any word would suffice, Meloy often picks words that make the listener reach for a dictionary or into their past to remember a definition that was lost to time.

Can't really say that I have a favorite song, although "Shiny" is damn close. Each song conjurs up such wonderful memories, that I cherish each differently. Ok I have been listening to "Red Right Ankle", "Clementine", "On The Bus Mall" and "I Was Meant For The Stage" a ton lately but that could be said of a number of other wonderful Decemberist songs.

Tonight I found myself in tears listening to "The Engine Driver", from day one this song has struck deep in me..I've heard songs that express what I feel or think, but this song reach down and with a few words said EXACTLY what has been weighing me down in my progress with my writings/screenplay. I've tried to convey both my story and my frustrations in telling that story to family and friends. The first time I heard his lyrics I felt a great wave of relief come over me because some else has felt this. Here is an excerpt:
The Engine Driver

"And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones"

The Plame Game

2005-10-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

Ok so the title isn't my most original. Am I the only that is drained from all the bush administration's bullsh!t and now the indictments have come down, with the possibility of more to come. I have to say it couldn't come to a more deserving bunch of idiots and I'm fighting myself to not to revert to potty-mouth mode.

Members of the bush administration decided to out a CIA agent, it would seem because her husband wrote an article that called into question the claims of the administration that Iraq was seeking "yellow cake" uranium in Niger, in order to build the dreaded those dreaded weapons of mass destruction. After the claims were proven unfounded, the adminstration was warned to remove references to those claims, instead bush and others continued to associate Iraq with seeking nuclear material in order to drum up support for a planned invasion.

For an administration that claims to worry about terrorism it is ironic that outted CIA agent Valarie Plame-Wilson was working covertly for a front company Brewster Jennings & Associates to infiltrate terrorist groups that were thought to be interested in smuggling materials for weapons of mass destruction.

Hmm...kind of makes you wonder why we went to war huh?

The definition of Cougin' it

2005-10-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

The term "cougin' it", meaning to choke at the most inopportune time, is a phrase that has dogged the Cougar Nation for as long as I can remember. Briefly during a run of successful seasons, an attempt was made by then head coach Mike Price to change the meaning to refer to the Cougars doing something right, yeah like that was going to work.

Any Coug fan that hears the term cringes, yet we have no other term to grasp onto when our beloved Cougs fall apart. I write this now because, as a Coug fan, I believe we are seeing new heights (or lows) of "Cougin' it" taking place...if it didn't break my heart so it would be funny. Four weeks in a row the Cougs cough up a furball as their coaching staff are frozen like a deer in headlights... Someone please stop the bleeding, the players deserve better!!! Go Cougs !

Back in the day

2005-10-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I was remembering fondly back when as a kid I would spend hours upon hours playing and watching the latest video games at Washington State University's Compton Union Building (CUB). Yesterday I stumbled upon this site that lets me play the video games of my youth without downloading software or any of that hassle. All in all pretty cool stuff...if only they had Donkey Kong :)

We Are Family

2005-10-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some thinking since the recent addition to the Erskine Clan. First, I'm thrilled to have two beautiful new cousins...they are blessed to call such a wonderful person their mother (though I haven't forgiven you completely Jane for the Jellybeans in my hair as a kid).

I think of my own mother, the eldest of the Erskine sisters, who was advised that she should think of giving me up for adoption. How different my life might have been if she didn't have the strength to raise a bi-racial child in a time when it wasn't as common. Fortunately I was doubly blessed to be born into a wonderful family that accepted me without a second thought.

In following the adoption of the twins it takes me back to my youth and I think how exciting it will be for them to grow up in and around such love and warmth that the Erskine's have to give. It also reminds me that I need to do a better job being a part of that family...not only to the twins, but to my uncles, aunts and especially my cousins.

From Gaylen on down to now Michaela and Annika, each one of you give so much to me and mean so much to me. We all dealt with the loss of Grandma in our own different ways and it was hard for each us, for me I simply withdrew from life, the family and myself and at some point I realized I wasn't sure I knew which direction to go to get back to where I needed to be. I'm far from where I want to be, but I want to let all of you know I want to be a part of your life....not only as your cousin but as your friend as well.

Will

We've got spirit, yes we do!

2005-10-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like this wave of "patriotism" and particuliarly the chants of "USA, USA, USA" are like those chants we did in High School? Now though, instead of showing that other school you have more spirit than they do, try to outdo eachother in a sort of 1984 type fervor. I found this comedy clip from David Cross and got a kick out of it.

How come the right quit talking about Pat Tillman?

2005-10-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

I remember the moment I heard that former Arizona State and Arizona Cardinal star Pat Tillman was killed in Afghanistan, I sat there in disbelief as if I had lost someone I knew personally. Other than the recent attention of the death of Army Specialist Casey Sheehan , you go to sites like Faces of the Fallen to connect a human face and story to the "war on terror".

I remember Pat Tillman's funeral on national TV, America's fallen hero, a man that turned down millions to protect his country, politicians lined up publicly to herald his life and his heroic death at the hands of a ruthless enemy. It was not until later we learned that he was unfortunately killed by a case of fraticide...unfortunate indeed, but in my eyes the heroism doesn't come in death but in the choice itself to serve. I've wondered why we don't hear much about Pat Tillman anymore from the likes of our president and his ilk, surely he should still be held up as an example for all Americans to follow...here is why they wont.

Two new cousins

2005-10-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Today my Aunt Jane & Uncle Rich head for China to bring back two beautiful little twin girls, Annika Jian and Michaela Kang. Family is a great thing and I know the two little ones and Rich & Jane (including extended families) are blessed to have one another in each others lives. I can remember Jane when she was that small pale girl that used to harass her little nephew (Me) and now she turned into a older small pale woman that still harasses me....thankfully not as frequently!

Despite me still harboring a grudge towards Jane over the Jellybean incident (A family matter) I know her and Rich will be great parents and I look forward to getting to know my new cousins...and a few of my old ones as well, better.

Me First Post

2005-10-05T15:27:00.000-07:00

I decided to create this blog after reading my cousin James' Blog. In the future expect some serious rants on the current political climate in this country, I've been semi-obsessed with politics since my youth and now is my time to vent. My politics definately lean heavily to the left...you have been warned. I also plan on writing about whatever strikes me as interesting, be it political or just useless bits of trivia that I collect along the way.